Let Them Eat . . . Lunch

If someone is eating lunch at his or her desk, do not loom and ask, “What’s for lunch?”  Do not interrupt the person and try to do business.  Give them some space.  Respect the lunch.  It’s a lot like when people are on the phone – do not hover in the door of their office or cubicle.  Unless the building is on fire, do not interrupt them.

If you are the one eating lunch, be honest about your lunch time.  If you have an hour, that doesn’t mean go out and shop for an hour, then bring lunch back to your desk and begin to eat it after your lunch hour is over.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

That Darn Soup Spoon

When you are finished with your soup, if there is a service plate underneath your soup bowl or cup, leave the soup spoon on this plate, to the right of the soup bowl or cup.  If there is no plate underneath, leave the soup spoon in the bowl or cup with the handle at about four o’clock.

If you would like to get those last few delicious drops of soup, you may tip the soup bowl or cup slightly away from you and scoop away.  You may not lift the bowl or cup to your face and drink from it.  (We know you do that with your cereal bowl in the privacy of your own home when nobody is looking – that can just be our little secret.)

Exceptions to the ban on soup cup lifting: a bouillon cup, which is lifted by the handles and some cultures that drink soup from the cup.  Important reminder: always learn the meeting, greeting and eating customs of other cultures you will be dealing with, whether you visit their country or they visit yours.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

Interview Meal

When you are being interviewed over a  meal, what should you order?

1. Something inexpensive.  You don’t want to appear to be someone who would drive up the expense account if hired.
2. Something neat.  Avoid that big, messy, delicious barbecue sandwich with the coleslaw on top.  Do not order a stringy pasta like spaghetti or fettuccine - order a small noodle like a penne pasta or macaroni.
3. Something tried.  If you have never tried shark or eel, do not order it during your interview.  After you get the job, you can go back and order up all the shark and eel you can eat on your own time and your own dime.

If you are being interviewed with a group of candidates, and they are all ordering steak and lobster combos and getting slushy cocktails with plastic alligators hanging off the side, do not  follow their bad behavior.  Stick to the rules and focus on the interview.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

The Importance of Your Professional Image

Many of you may roll your eyes at the thought of appearance playing a key role in your career.  Philosophically it shouldn’t.  In reality it does.

The beginning of a new calendar year is always a time for resolutions and changes.  Resolve to appraise your professional image and make changes if they are warranted.

Your cover letter was an attention grabber.  Your resume impressive.  You aced your telephone interview garnering you an in-person interview.  You arrived for the interview ten minutes prior to the appointed time prepared with copies of your resume, a list of references, and note taking equipment.  You offered a firm handshake and looked everyone in the eye.  You answered all their questions confidently then you asked researched questions of them.  You were proactive in asking the next steps prior to exiting.  You sent thank you notes reiterating your interest.  You are now racking your brain as to why you haven’t heard back – or worse you received the form letter stating another candidate was chosen for “your” position.  What happened?

Human Resource professionals tell the same story over and over.  The candidate is well-qualified yet the image they are projecting does not fit the corporate culture.  All industries agree that you should lean on the conservative side of attire on the first impression.  Companies want you to fit in, not stand out.

What if you have the job but are trying to advance in your career?  Dress one click above the position you are seeking.  The corporate pendulum is swinging away from the casual day attire, too.  Even if it is causal Friday wear the corporate logo shirt with pressed khakis and real shoes, not jeans and sandals or athletic shoes.  If you have to receive an email reminder of appropriate attire every time “guests will be in the building,” perhaps you need to take a closer look in the mirror.

Success depends on how you are perceived by others.  Don’t complain about the unfairness of it; use it to your advantage.

 

From BeyondManners at http://www.beyondmanners.com

 

3 Personal Branding Tips for Job Seekers

3 Personal Branding Tips for Job Seekers:

1. Never work on only one project.  You should always have multiple projects going on at once because you never know what will take off and what will fail.  Don’t take on too many projects, though, or you won’t be as effective.
2. Be selective when job searching.  Too many people settle for jobs they aren’t interested in just to collect a paycheck.  By doing this, you put yourself in a position to eventually get fired or quit.  Despite the economy, you can use a positive attitude and genuine passion to secure the right job.  Never settle!
3. Your brand isn’t a logo.  Your brand is what you represent and the experience people have when they are around you.  If you make it consistent, then you can build a strong reputation over time.  A logo is a visual representation of your brand but the brand is the substance behind it.

http://personalbranding.com

Get In Line

In a line or crowd, there are two kinds of bullies:

1. Those who weasel and nudge their way past those who have been waiting longer than themselves.

2. Those who say to late-arriving friends in back, “Come up here and get in front of me,” as if they own the real estate in front of them and have the right to push everyone else back. 

Practicing good etiquette means awareness and consideration of the people around you.

If you would like to offer your late-arriving friends your spot, you may switch places with them and take their position at the back of the crowd or line, as long as the switch does not involve throwing elbows, flattening senior citizens or knocking others out of the way.

Take the high road.  There is no glory in owning a seat, while senior citizens stand or those with disabilities stand.  If your coat, purse or barrel of popcorn did not buy a ticket for the movie theater, your coat, purse or barrel of popcorn should not usurp a seat from someone who did buy a ticket.  Allow the person behind you in line at the grocery store with one or two items to go before your cart-load.  “I am in a hurry,” is not a viable rationale for cutting in line.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

The Package of Rudeness

Rudeness originates “from a bad state of mind” in the person who is behaving rudely, according to Dr. P.M. Forni of the Johns Hopkins Civility Initiative in his book, The Civility Solution: What to Do When People are Rude.  It might be stress, unhappiness or lack of time.

While rudeness often feels personal, it isn’t.

Says Dr. Forni, “When we realize that the rudeness others send our way stems from their own problems, it is much easier not to become deeply upset.  We just leave the package of rudeness unopened, since it doesn’t belong to us.”

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

Meal and Deal Host Protocol

When you are the host of a business meal, here are some quick reminders:

• Offer your guest the best seat: facing out into the dining room, with the best window view or away from the line of traffic. 
• Your guest orders first.  As the host, you order second.
• Pay attention to what your guest orders and make sure the wait staff brings what the guest has ordered.
• Do not talk business until after you place your order.
• Keep pace with your guest, so you do not finish too far ahead or too far behind.
• The host ends the meeting by asking for the check.

In some restaurants where table turnover is rapid, wait staff will hover and do everything but push the eject button or trap door to get you to leave.  In other restaurants, wait staff are trained not to offer or bring a check until you ask for it.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

BeyondManners December 2011

More Than Just Showing Up!

Business or pleasure, we all want to make a good impression.  December affords numerous opportunities to socialize.  Some people circulate effortlessly through an event while others tend to blend in with the woodwork.  How do they do it?  They make the effort.  They work at it.  Yes, even attending a party must be worked.

A few tips:

• Know what to expect – Confirm the location and appropriate attire, and learn as much as possible about those who will be attending the event.
• Catch up on current events and things such as recent films and books to help with small talk.
• Practice a few versions of a short yet interesting self introduction.
• Start conversations with those who are alone.  If you are alone, introduce yourself to a small group and join the conversation.
• Be a good listener!
• Keep any imbibing in moderation.
• Be approachable – relax and smile.

Business or pleasure, remember to send your host a handwritten thank you note.  Most of all – enjoy yourself!

From BeyondManners at http://www.beyondmanners.com

Thank You for the Crummy Gift

Like or no, sending a thank you note for a gift received – by mail, not the celebrated “e” kind – is a must.  So what do you say when you receive a gift you do not like?

“Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

Speaking of gifts you do not like – skip the Secret Santa or gag gift parties this year and just have a party with food.  People already have enough to do this month.  But everyone likes food.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com