Eating and Talking – Morgan James: Blog 4

Last time I talked about career fairs and how to have a successful experience. This week I am going to talk about an experience that I had two weeks ago at an etiquette networking dinner. When wanting to get a job in the real world one must know how to dine in the real world. It is very important to know professional dining etiquette so if your interview includes a business dinner, or if you dine with colleagues or bosses, you do not look like some uneducated person. Like I mentioned earlier, I had the opportunity to attend a Networking Etiquette dinner a few weeks ago that allowed me to learn the etiquette of professional dining. The dinner was put on by our very own Career Services and allowed us a chance to not only learn dinner etiquette but also allowed for us to network with different companies during the dinner. Companies included; Northwestern Mutual Financial, Edward Jones Financial, Kiewit, Wal-Mart, Peoples Bank, and Reflective Group. Each company sponsored a table and had a representative from their company that ate dinner with us. I had a fantastic time at this function and plan to tell you about the experience as an entirety, including all preparations that went into it and how I prepared myself.

To start things off I first needed to get my resume in order so I could pass it out to the employers that were at the dinner. After I thought my resume was good to go I took it to Career Services so they could check it over and help me add anything I was missing. Once I got my resume sorted out I made sure to print it off on nice heavy weight resume paper. After I finished my resume and got it printed I made sure to pick out a nice color shirt and tie to go along with my suit. *Remember* always got to dress to impress! 🙂 I made sure to arrive at the event about 30 minutes prior to the dinner starting so I could get my nametag and mingle with other students and the attending employers.

When I got there, there were appetizers waiting so that we could eat something while we were waiting. This was the start of the etiquette dinner as it was we had to pour our soda into glasses instead of walking around with the can. This was a cool start to the experience because it made the event feel very professional which is what Career Services was going for. When 6:30 rolled around we were asked to be seated with our host/hostess from each company.

When we sat down each employer introduced themselves and gave a brief rundown of their company and what their internship programs were like. As each course came around the etiquette instructor would tell us a little bit about what was appropriate and how we were supposed to conduct ourselves throughout the dinner. I had the pleasure of sitting at the Northwestern Mutual table with hostess Lauren Paoli. Throughout dinner she asked us questions about our college experience and our education path and what we wanted to do. After the dinner concluded we had the opportunity to exchange business cards and resumes with our hostess and any other employer that we talked to either prior to or post dinner.

All in all the entire event was a great success and I really enjoyed it. I HIGHLY recommend that if Career Services does this event again it is a MUST attend. Great networking opportunities come out of this event along with great etiquette tips for future professional dining events.

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Interview Meal

When you are being interviewed over a  meal, what should you order?

1. Something inexpensive.  You don’t want to appear to be someone who would drive up the expense account if hired.
2. Something neat.  Avoid that big, messy, delicious barbecue sandwich with the coleslaw on top.  Do not order a stringy pasta like spaghetti or fettuccine – order a small noodle like a penne pasta or macaroni.
3. Something tried.  If you have never tried shark or eel, do not order it during your interview.  After you get the job, you can go back and order up all the shark and eel you can eat on your own time and your own dime.

If you are being interviewed with a group of candidates, and they are all ordering steak and lobster combos and getting slushy cocktails with plastic alligators hanging off the side, do not  follow their bad behavior.  Stick to the rules and focus on the interview.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Banquet Speakers and Diners

When the master of ceremonies introduces the after dinner speaker, all else ceases.  There is no tittering, twittering, dithering or jittering.  Finish eating and sipping coffee before the speaker begins, turn your chair toward the speaker and give the speaker your undivided attention.  NO, you may not text under the table.

If your ill-timed dessert arrives after the speaker begins, you may finish it as quietly and unobtrusively as possible.  A speaker can be distracted by the clanking of dishes, silverware and glasses or the uttering of “yummy noises”.  You may not ask the banquet staff to box any part of the meal “to go,” nor put food into a plastic baggie in your purse, man-bag, or pockets.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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When To Begin Eating

You are starving to the point where you are ready to start gnawing on your napkin and even the floral centerpiece is beginning to look tasty.  But when may you begin eating?

There are a few different answers:
1. In an interview meal or dinner party, follow your host’s lead and begin eating when your host begins.
2. At a banquet or any dining situation where you are sitting at a table with eight or fewer people, begin eating when everyone at your table has been served.  (It is not necessary to wait for all 200 people in the banquet hall to be served.)
3. When there are nine or more people at the table, wait until at least a few people have been served.

The same rules apply for each course in a multi-course meal.

With a buffet, you may begin eating as soon as you are seated, but it is polite to wait until at least a few people have joined you.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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The Napkin Challenge

If you need to excuse yourself from the table in the middle of the meal, there are two schools of thought about what to do with your napkin:

1. Traditional: leave the napkin on the seat of your chair.  This avoids having everyone at the table get an unsavory look at the soiled napkin while they are still eating.

2. Newer thinking: leave the napkin on the table, slightly crumpled to the left of your place setting.  Leaving the napkin on the chair and then using it to wipe your mouth seems a little unsanitary.  If you crumple the napkin and leave it on the table, please try to fold any soiled parts in, out of the view of other diners.

When you leave the table in the middle of the meal, politely excuse yourself.  There is no need to announce your destination and purpose to the entire table.  Most of them have an idea.

At the end of the meal, when you get up to leave, place the napkin slightly crumpled to the left of your place setting.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Which Fork?

When you see all those forks, spoons and knives at your place setting what is the first thing that comes to mind?  (Besides, “Thank goodness I don’t have to do the dishes.”)  Many wonder, “Which do I pick up first?”

The answer is simple.  Start with the utensils on the outside and work your way in towards the plate.  If the first course is a soup course, use the spoon on the far right.  A fork to the left, for a salad or main course, may have a corresponding knife on the right side of the plate.  The dessert fork or spoon (or both), may be found above your plate.  If you don’t see anything there, don’t panic.  Sometimes dessert utensils are served on the dessert plate itself.

If you are doing the dishes, smile.  It’s a character-building experience.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Place Knives Blade In

Do you talk with your hands?  For the safety of everyone around you at the table, please put your knife down and do not use it to gesture.

Knives at your place setting are always “blade in” (the blade faces towards your place setting.)  On a bread plate, the butter knife rests horizontally across the top (think 10 and 2 on a clock), with the blade facing you.  Similarly, when you are eating American style, a knife not in use should rest horizontally across the top of your plate, blade in.  When eating Continental (also known as European) style, the fork and knife are placed in an upside down “V” on the plate, with the fork tines down on the right and the knife, blade in, on the left.  (An easy way to remember the upside down V is to set them down exactly as you were holding them.)

When you are finished, fork and knife are placed diagonally on the plate (think 4 on a clock) with the fork closest to you and the knife, again, blade in.  This signals to the wait staff that they may remove your plate.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Your Serve

If you have an interview or a business meeting with a potential client at a restaurant, kill the wait staff with kindness and be forgiving of mistakes.  How you treat the wait staff is a reflection of how you will treat others — whether they be people reporting to you, co-workers or the clients themselves.

Be patient and try not to send items back unless something is so dangerously undercooked that it is crawling off the plate.  Avoid giving special instructions (“I’d like a slice of lemon in my water.”) and asking for items “on the side,” (“I’d like my poppy seed dressing on the side.”) or anything that might make you appear high maintenance.  If you are on a diet, the diet resumes after the business meal.  Treat the wait staff as you would like to be treated if you were the one serving the meal and if you were handling five other tables.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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The Proper Order

In a business meal, the host — the person who has issued the invitation to the meal — orders last.  The guest orders first.  Wait until after you order before you begin discussing business, or you will seem too pushy.  With a business breakfast or lunch, talk small talk for 10-15 minutes before ordering.  At a business dinner, talk 20-25 minutes before ordering.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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That’s Hot

Wait for hot items to cool.  Do not blow on your soup to cool it, because you might splatter on someone else.  Do not take the ice from your beverage and use it to cool hot soup or a hot beverage.  Never use your spoon to scoop ice out of your beverage and do not even think about using your fingers.

If you are in an interview or an important business meeting – – waiting for hot soup or a hot beverage to cool demonstrates patience.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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