Banquet Speakers and Diners

When the master of ceremonies introduces the after dinner speaker, all else ceases.  There is no tittering, twittering, dithering or jittering.  Finish eating and sipping coffee before the speaker begins, turn your chair toward the speaker and give the speaker your undivided attention.  NO, you may not text under the table.

If your ill-timed dessert arrives after the speaker begins, you may finish it as quietly and unobtrusively as possible.  A speaker can be distracted by the clanking of dishes, silverware and glasses or the uttering of “yummy noises”.  You may not ask the banquet staff to box any part of the meal “to go,” nor put food into a plastic baggie in your purse, man-bag, or pockets.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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When To Begin Eating

You are starving to the point where you are ready to start gnawing on your napkin and even the floral centerpiece is beginning to look tasty.  But when may you begin eating?

There are a few different answers:
1. In an interview meal or dinner party, follow your host’s lead and begin eating when your host begins.
2. At a banquet or any dining situation where you are sitting at a table with eight or fewer people, begin eating when everyone at your table has been served.  (It is not necessary to wait for all 200 people in the banquet hall to be served.)
3. When there are nine or more people at the table, wait until at least a few people have been served.

The same rules apply for each course in a multi-course meal.

With a buffet, you may begin eating as soon as you are seated, but it is polite to wait until at least a few people have joined you.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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The Napkin Challenge

If you need to excuse yourself from the table in the middle of the meal, there are two schools of thought about what to do with your napkin:

1. Traditional: leave the napkin on the seat of your chair.  This avoids having everyone at the table get an unsavory look at the soiled napkin while they are still eating.

2. Newer thinking: leave the napkin on the table, slightly crumpled to the left of your place setting.  Leaving the napkin on the chair and then using it to wipe your mouth seems a little unsanitary.  If you crumple the napkin and leave it on the table, please try to fold any soiled parts in, out of the view of other diners.

When you leave the table in the middle of the meal, politely excuse yourself.  There is no need to announce your destination and purpose to the entire table.  Most of them have an idea.

At the end of the meal, when you get up to leave, place the napkin slightly crumpled to the left of your place setting.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Which Fork?

When you see all those forks, spoons and knives at your place setting what is the first thing that comes to mind?  (Besides, “Thank goodness I don’t have to do the dishes.”)  Many wonder, “Which do I pick up first?”

The answer is simple.  Start with the utensils on the outside and work your way in towards the plate.  If the first course is a soup course, use the spoon on the far right.  A fork to the left, for a salad or main course, may have a corresponding knife on the right side of the plate.  The dessert fork or spoon (or both), may be found above your plate.  If you don’t see anything there, don’t panic.  Sometimes dessert utensils are served on the dessert plate itself.

If you are doing the dishes, smile.  It’s a character-building experience.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Place Knives Blade In

Do you talk with your hands?  For the safety of everyone around you at the table, please put your knife down and do not use it to gesture.

Knives at your place setting are always “blade in” (the blade faces towards your place setting.)  On a bread plate, the butter knife rests horizontally across the top (think 10 and 2 on a clock), with the blade facing you.  Similarly, when you are eating American style, a knife not in use should rest horizontally across the top of your plate, blade in.  When eating Continental (also known as European) style, the fork and knife are placed in an upside down “V” on the plate, with the fork tines down on the right and the knife, blade in, on the left.  (An easy way to remember the upside down V is to set them down exactly as you were holding them.)

When you are finished, fork and knife are placed diagonally on the plate (think 4 on a clock) with the fork closest to you and the knife, again, blade in.  This signals to the wait staff that they may remove your plate.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Conquering the Cherry Tomato

The cherry tomato.  So little and round and cute atop your little foothill of salad . . . and yet so hazardous.  Everyone is faced with the dilemma.  Is it small enough to pop the whole tomato in my mouth?  Or do I have to slice it in two?  Have you ever tried to cut a cherry tomato only to have it explode like a geyser and splatter your outfit?  (No, you can’t tuck your napkin into your collar to prevent that.)  Or in the attempt to cut the slippery orb in two, you launch it like a salad dressing-soaked cannon ball onto the floor or your neighbor’s lap?  (In an important dinner, Murphy’s Law says it’s headed for the lap.)  Some fear the cherry tomato and let it sit there mocking them.

Enjoy your tomato.  Trap the little monster against your knife and put one tine of your fork through the top, where the tomato was once connected to the vine.  Push the fork in a little deeper . . . niiiice and sloooow.  Now that the tomato is trapped with the fork in it, you may use your knife to gently divide and conquer.  Savor the victory.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Your Serve

If you have an interview or a business meeting with a potential client at a restaurant, kill the wait staff with kindness and be forgiving of mistakes.  How you treat the wait staff is a reflection of how you will treat others — whether they be people reporting to you, co-workers or the clients themselves.

Be patient and try not to send items back unless something is so dangerously undercooked that it is crawling off the plate.  Avoid giving special instructions (“I’d like a slice of lemon in my water.”) and asking for items “on the side,” (“I’d like my poppy seed dressing on the side.”) or anything that might make you appear high maintenance.  If you are on a diet, the diet resumes after the business meal.  Treat the wait staff as you would like to be treated if you were the one serving the meal and if you were handling five other tables.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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A Fat Tip on Gristle

The last etiquette tip stated that items such as gristle, fish bone, olive stones, icky mushrooms, etc. should not be spit out into a napkin.  How should you rid yourself of these types of things while eating?

Three things you can do with an unwanted object:

1. Remove it with two fingers – discreetly.  Bring the object down to your plate and wipe your fingers on your napkin.  (Works well for a fish bone.)

2. Spit it out into your cupped fingers – again discreetly.  Bring it down to your plate and wipe your fingers on your napkin.  (This is the safest course with something slippery like a watermelon seed or an olive stone.)

3. Bring your fork to your lips and move the item to the front of your mouth and onto the fork.  (This takes finesse, but is good for gristle.)  Bring the fork down to the plate.

The idea with all three of these is that you attract as little attention as possible.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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Proper Cutting Position

There is a right way and a wrong way to cut items on your plate.  Holding knife or fork in your fist and pinning items with your fork straight up, also known as pirate style (Arrrrrghhh!) , is just not right.

The proper way is to take the fork in your left hand and knife in your right hand.  Put your index finger on the back of the fork at the base (where the handle ends and the fork begins) and the base of the knife (where the handle ends and the knife begins).  Pin items to be but with your fork tines down, applying pressure with your index finger.

Keep your wrists low and elbows in.  (You too, lefties!)  Cut with the knife on the other side of the fork (the fork should be between you and the knife as you are cutting).  If something is tender enough to sever with your fork, like an omelette or piece of fish, you need not use a knife.

SENIOR WINE AND DINE IS SCHEDULED FOR MARCH 31!

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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That’s Hot

Wait for hot items to cool.  Do not blow on your soup to cool it, because you might splatter on someone else.  Do not take the ice from your beverage and use it to cool hot soup or a hot beverage.  Never use your spoon to scoop ice out of your beverage and do not even think about using your fingers.

If you are in an interview or an important business meeting – – waiting for hot soup or a hot beverage to cool demonstrates patience.

From  the Culture and Manners Institute at http://www.cultureandmanners.com

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